18th inner peace

Blame it on me.

Last Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, I didn’t get to see you. I didn’t complain either because I was fine with it.

This week, this is what we did:-

Tuesday: You had cage(12pm-2pm) and I had an interview at 3.30pm. We met halfway at the coffee bean and that was the first time after 5 days. Then we went to eat at Banquet and I bought for you a watch, sweater and a adidas running shoes at Tampines. Thought i should get something for myself and the time dragged a little which then ended the day late. We were tired and headed back home. Ended up pretty okay despite what happened that night.

Wednesday: JB trip for the whole day for you! And so I met the girls.

Thursday: Cage again(2pm-6pm) and I’ve decided to sit and wait for you so at least I get to see you play and in a way, spend my time with you. Even though now I think I should’ve gone searching for my shoes so I wouldn’t be taking up your time to look for my stuff. We were hungry and I’ve got a $5 food culture coupons from Mira(thkyou) so we decided to head back down to tampines. We finished eating ard 8plus. After that, I wanted to like buy sthg for myself but nothing was good for me. And the time dragged on and we went home late again.

Friday: I went out swimming with my nephews at 9am and then met you at 2pm. Ate Mcdonalds and watched change-up. Head back to Tampines to meet zilla, imran and sharill for dinner. While waiting for them(esp im who came at 9pm) we went around and you fell in love with Topman’s skinny chinos so I bought it for you. It was late alrdy by the time imran came and so you had to call your mum and tell her you’re gonna be late. But you felt bad cause you’re always coming home late. So i tell you, if you must and feel bad about it, you should go home. Don’t make your mum angry anymore. But you’ve decided to stay on and i was happy that you came along. And we ended the day very late that you come home late too. Passed the curfew hours.

At night, when i tried to tell you we need to spend time alone together, you just didn’t see why we should. And you were tired you say, then maybe I should let you know what you did this week that made you felt so tired. Maybe it’s the cage, cause you had it twice in a week or maybe it’s the trip to Malaysia in between that added up to the tiredness. Or maybe it’s having those last hours time with me. I tried to tell you things and you get so mad at me for saying all those shits, at least that’s what I think you think it is. And then at times, when you tell me, “don’t be afraid just let them out” I get totally confused. So I’ve decided to learn from my lessons. Just stfu. Or if you’d like, just blame everything on me. What more do you want?

It’s okay, I would love if we stay home for the rest of the week and the next. I guess I’m also tired. I just want to sleep. And I’m sorry for the fact that I stay in Bedok and you, in Woodlands. Thank you for spending 3 solid days with me in a week.

2302hrs

Had my hopes and excitement damn high to go cycling tmr. But it was all crushed within seconds. I feel so sad right now that I feel like… i’m gonna be so sick. Haiss I want to go cycle alone, really and not depend on others for their time. But I’m just afraid, what if I get lost or hurt cause I fell from the bike or get disturbed by a bunch of guys(lol cause I’d look so kental). If it was the excitement to watch a movie or go shopping, I’d be glad to do it on my own! Haiyyy:’( Forget about cycling, I don’t feel like doing it anymore